A few days ago, something happened and I scolded staff for that. The main reason of the scolding was just about the word “Thank you”, but I did it not because I just wanted to hear the staff say “Thank you”. It was because I thought that, to build a human relationship, it was important to have the feeling of gratitude and respect for the other person, no matter which country you were in.
In the past, I used to wonder what kindness actually meant. The answer that came up to my mind at that time was compatibility. For example, once there was such a story.
Suppose I did something good for a person, but that person didn’t feel anything about it. However, some time later, that same person would express his/her gratitude to me for just a very trivial thing, which I didn’t expect at all. I started to realize that kindness is something that would exist only when you feel something as kindness and the other person also feel it in the same way. Otherwise, the so-called kindness would become a misplaced kindness or an unwelcome favor for the other person.
I was thinking of whether the above happening was caused by the difference in thinking between that staff and me. If that is the case, the fact that I scolded the staff might have been a wrong move.
Generally, Japanese people are said to have the habit of using the words “Thank you” or “I’m sorry” frequently in order to avoid friction in mutual cooperation. So, I have the feelings of guilt that what I did was just an act of forcing Japanese sense of values on other people, and I was the one who lacked respect for people.
However, in my mind, I still believe that the word “Thank you” said to a person will definitely make him/her willing and ready to offer cooperation later, and that the feeling of happiness after being appreciated by people is common in all nations on earth. Even if this is not true, it is perfect that you can feel the happiness of being appreciated by people, but you should also respect the opinions of people who are not thinking in the same way and shouldn’t force them to accept different opinions.
The more I think, the more I get confused which is actually the truth.
In the book of Guanzi, there is a saying that goes like this “Courtesy is born when the rice granary is filled; Honor is concerned when enough food and clothes are assured”. In Japan, people commonly state this saying as “Courtesy is concerned when enough food and clothes are assured”. This saying means that, by nature, humans will be able to start thinking about good manners and rules only when they feel secure about their living.
If we take this saying to apply to Cambodia, we can understand that by the recent economic growth resulting in continuous increase in the average income among the population, the food and clothes are getting sufficient to satisfy the living condition of the citizens in this nation. So, it is also the time for people to start to concern about manners in their society from now on. Therefore, although what I keep saying to people every day is not yet understood or appreciated now, there would be some day when finally everything starts to make sense.
Things will not change in just one night, that’s why I will keep saying as I am doing every day, believing that things are moving forward from yesterday to this day, and from this day to tomorrow with a slow but definite improvement.